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 Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)

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AuthorMessage
Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptySat Aug 06, 2011 7:55 pm

The following jutsu are the ones I get for free for being a non-clan. Do not price them.

Spoiler:


Last edited by Suikona on Wed Oct 05, 2011 3:35 am; edited 18 times in total
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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptySun Aug 07, 2011 7:39 pm

Bump
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Seinin

Andeddo
Andeddo
Male Posts : 780
Ryo : 13750

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue330/330Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (330/330)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptySun Aug 07, 2011 9:17 pm

Hidden mist: As I believe this is already approved on site, approved.

Gunshot: How much stronger do they get when using gravity? As it says in the description, but not in the chakra cost and power list.

Violent water wave: What is the size of this wave? Width, height.

Water encampment wall: what exactly can this block? What can break it?

Water clone: How many hit before it returns to it's original state, how many can be made at once?

Take care of these for now, and Bump when done, we'll move on.
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http://shatteredmemories.forumotion.com
Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyMon Aug 08, 2011 12:45 am

Fixed.
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Genin

Dominic
Dominic
Male Posts : 5756
Ryo : 12100

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue330/330Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (330/330)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyMon Aug 08, 2011 12:48 am

If Im not mistaken, there is also an approved version of water clone on here as well, so make sure it matches the approved one.
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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyTue Aug 09, 2011 4:03 am

There's not an approved version of water clone in the canon list.
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Genin

Dominic
Dominic
Male Posts : 5756
Ryo : 12100

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue330/330Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (330/330)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyTue Aug 09, 2011 2:54 pm

Name: Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu
Rank: C
Element: Water
Type: Ninjutsu (Handseals)
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m), Mid (5m ~ 10m)
Description: Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique that utilizes water to create a Bunshin clone. Unlike a normal Bunshin, the Mizu Bunshin has the ability to interact more with the environment due to it having physical substance. This allows the clone to carry out limited attacks on its target. The range of the clone is limited however, it can not travel very far from the original body. If the Mizu Bunshin is injured, the clone will usually revert back into its natural water state.

Here is another version of the water clone that is trying to be approved in another topic. Do your best to mold this into your description, and use this range in place of yours. Also, 10 of these clones is a bit much. Reduce it to 6 and that should pass.
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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyTue Aug 09, 2011 6:36 pm

Repaired.
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Genin

Dominic
Dominic
Male Posts : 5756
Ryo : 12100

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue330/330Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (330/330)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyTue Aug 09, 2011 9:45 pm

If the water clones are only 1/10 the strength, a single blow will easily destroy these. That was proven in the anime with the force of a single attack in the anime. Please edit that in and that jutsu will be finished. Though you won't be charged, it is Canon and a price needs to be set for future reference. That price will be 5000 ryo.
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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyTue Aug 09, 2011 10:14 pm

By strength, I meant physical strength. I have the exact damage required to bust them edited in.
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Genin

Dominic
Dominic
Male Posts : 5756
Ryo : 12100

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue330/330Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (330/330)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyTue Aug 09, 2011 10:22 pm

Dominic Edrick wrote:
That was proven in the anime with the force of a single attack in the anime.

You watch the anime dont you? Zabuza vs. Sasuke, Naruto, (Kakashi trapped) A single blow. You can create an advanced version of a clone and pay for it, but the canon version is a single blow.
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Genin

Dominic
Dominic
Male Posts : 5756
Ryo : 12100

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue330/330Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (330/330)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyTue Aug 09, 2011 10:25 pm


Name: Water Encampment Wall
Canon/Custom: Canon
Rank: B
Element: Suiton
Type:Ninjutsu
Range:Short Range Defensive
Description:This defensive technique creates a wall of water around the user. Enemy attacks are completely intercepted by a fence of water blown out from the mouth, and is raised from below with tremendous might. The water is blown out in the form of a circle around the user, and it makes for a defence without openings. It is also possible for the user to control the amount of water and duration at will. The wall's strength and resistance change following the quantity of chakra poured down into the water, so a skilful shinobi will be able to build a sturdy one. Furthermore, because the field of vision is maintained even while defending one can easily go on to the next move, which is a great advantage. The wall can also be formed from a pre-existing water source. The water cylinder is 8 metres high and 2 metres thick, S rank fire jutsu can break this wall, A rank fire type jutsu are weakened by 25 percent, B rank fire justu's are weaken by 50 percent and C or lower type fire justu's are completely repeled. B or higher lightning justu are can also break the this justu completly. Weapons like swords and kunai are not very affected due to the volume of water that the user creates kunai and other throwing eapons would be completly stoped due to water density and swords that are reduced in swinging power by 40 percent due to thickness and density of the water.

Requires Hand Seals and last 3 Posts with a cool down of 4 posts.

The approved version of this jutsu also.
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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyTue Aug 09, 2011 10:41 pm

Got rid of a B-rank, moved the water wall to its appropriate rank, added a C-rank in its place.
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Genin

Dominic
Dominic
Male Posts : 5756
Ryo : 12100

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue330/330Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (330/330)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyTue Aug 09, 2011 10:49 pm

Bro, you have it in your list twice. You may have pasted twice. Fix your list and bump. I cant tell where to go now.
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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyTue Aug 09, 2011 10:52 pm

Sorry about that. Fixed.
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Genin

Dominic
Dominic
Male Posts : 5756
Ryo : 12100

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue330/330Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (330/330)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyWed Aug 10, 2011 12:46 am

You need to state in every jutsu which need handseals and which require a different kind of charge time.

Water Release Gunshot - No way is a D rank as fast as a bullet(True bullet speed is denied and several hundred mph slower is also). At D Rank, these bullets can only severely damage, but not kill. Concussion is likely only if hit in the temple. At max, it'll go at 65 mph, like an average teenage pitcher throwing a fastball, but that's all. D Rank auto kill is OP. If it builds in power and number, this makes it D-B Rank, which you will only get the D Rank for free. Gravity helping it by one rank is a bit farfetched due to the fact that even if you throw a baseball downward, whether by hundreds of feet or higher, it won't stay on the direct path and is thus useless. Therefore eliminate it from the description.

Violent Water Waves - There is no such, 'until the user wishes to cut it off.' Definite duration and direct cooldown. You do realize a human can punch with more than 50 lbs. of force right? Overall this is weak for even D Rank.

Water Prison - once again, needs a definitive duration and higher cooldown. At D Rank, its easily breakable. All one would have to do is channel lightning and your jutsu is done for.

Great Water Arm - Needs damage control. How badly can you damage your enemy if punch landed cleanly and add in the lightning factor, bc simple lightning would tear this apart, maybe even paralyze your entire arm for 2 posts if not more depending on lightnings rank. With it tampering with your body, even a C Rank lightning could prove fatal.


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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyMon Aug 15, 2011 12:34 am

Fixed, I'm pretty sure :)
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Genin

Dominic
Dominic
Male Posts : 5756
Ryo : 12100

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue330/330Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (330/330)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyMon Aug 15, 2011 1:24 am

Gunshot - Your description has softball and baseball in the description. Choose the one size you want it.

Water Prison - Approved. 5000 ryo for the encyclopedia.

Great arm - How thick of a rock wall and how thick of a steel door?
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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyMon Aug 15, 2011 1:57 am

Molded to terms.
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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptyWed Aug 17, 2011 1:10 am

Bump
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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptySun Aug 21, 2011 2:10 pm

Bump
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Genin

Dominic
Dominic
Male Posts : 5756
Ryo : 12100

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue330/330Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (330/330)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptySun Aug 21, 2011 5:36 pm

Gun Shot - Approved. 2500 ryo for the encyclopedia.

Great Arm - Approved. 4000 ryo for the encyclopedia.

If you don't mind, everything that I am pricing, please put it below your jutsu so that I may send it off to the Canon Technique Encyclopedia.

Exploding Water Colliding Wave - You have this set up as a D-S Rank jutsu, meaning your going to pay for this one as it is. B rank jutsu require a minimum of 30 chakra. Tell me how you as a long time member don't know and see that? 10 chakra at B Rank? Cmon dude, your wasting my time with things like this. Tell me how the blast transitions from the mouth and turns into a wave. Then after that, explain how fast the high speeds that you travel with are, with official numbers. Bump when finished. You may just want to explain it in a post by itself instead of editing it in.
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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptySun Aug 21, 2011 7:39 pm

All fixed and shiny, and I edited it in instead of making it a post on its own. Not quite sure why, just felt it might be more tidy that way. Also added the prices, like requested.
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Genin

Dominic
Dominic
Male Posts : 5756
Ryo : 12100

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue330/330Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (330/330)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptySun Aug 21, 2011 9:07 pm

I asked you to list it below in your next post, so I didn't have to go back and load the previous page with the terrible signal that is my phone where I live. I'm trying to make this quicker.

Exploding Water, Colliding Wave - Obviously, Earth would defeat this, so you also need to label what rank of earth dlweakens it/nullifies it. You should change the when swept, to if swept. Other water specialists will be able to use this as water to form other jutsu well, so add that in.
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Genin

Suikona
Suikona
Posts : 108
Ryo : 1950

Character sheet
Chakra:
Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Left_bar_bleue140/140Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty_bar_bleue  (140/140)

Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration)   Suikona Oradashi(Technique Registration) EmptySun Aug 21, 2011 10:20 pm

Ah, should've said, brah.

Since Earth is water's weakness and the like, I'd say a C rank would weaken it considerably, a B rank would completely nullify it(As well as any rank above), D rank and below Doton won't do anything. And I'll add those last two things in now.
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