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 Otanshi, Alice justu registration

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Jounin

Alice
Alice
Posts : 10
Ryo : 0

Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty
PostSubject: Otanshi, Alice justu registration    Otanshi, Alice justu registration  EmptyMon Jun 16, 2014 12:25 am

Jounin: 2 E-ranks, 2 D-ranks, 2 C-ranks, 2 B-ranks, 2 A-ranks (max 10 out of this)

free ones
Spoiler:

E ranks

Spoiler:

D rank:
Spoiler:


C rank:
Spoiler:

Rank B
Spoiler:


A rank:
Spoiler:


Last edited by Alice on Thu Jun 26, 2014 6:31 am; edited 5 times in total
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Chuunin

Vex
Vex
Male Posts : 1428
Ryo : 396513

Character sheet
Chakra:
Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Left_bar_bleue190/190Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty_bar_bleue  (190/190)

Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty
PostSubject: Re: Otanshi, Alice justu registration    Otanshi, Alice justu registration  EmptyMon Jun 16, 2014 9:15 pm

Apologies on the late reply for this, Alice. But it will take me some time to get to this & grade it, another staff member like Isais or Rumi should be able to help you as well.
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Chuunin

Vex
Vex
Male Posts : 1428
Ryo : 396513

Character sheet
Chakra:
Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Left_bar_bleue190/190Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty_bar_bleue  (190/190)

Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty
PostSubject: Re: Otanshi, Alice justu registration    Otanshi, Alice justu registration  EmptyThu Jun 19, 2014 2:58 pm

Temporary Paralysis technique
  • Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't this an Ijutsu skill? If this jutsu is canon, please link me to your source.


Dance of the shikigami
  • I am sorry, but this is a KKG Jutsu ability only


Heavenly Prison fire sword
  • Elaborate on the size, shape and degree of burning the sword can cause- also, reword its usage a little. The way you word it, sounds like an autohit.


Fire Release Heavenly Prison
  • This is a sub-specialization of Fuinjutsu, as you say- Juinjutsu, we don't have this specialization up yet, so please reconsider this jutsu.


Icarus
  • I would allow a 1 stat increase in SPD, but being a maintained form, this jutsu would require 20 chakra per post after the first post(Which is a rule of 50% of the initial jutsu cost per post for maintained jutsu) Also, this seems more like an S Rank jutsu, given its several abilities, please consider nerfing it a bit.
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Jounin

Alice
Alice
Posts : 10
Ryo : 0

Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty
PostSubject: Re: Otanshi, Alice justu registration    Otanshi, Alice justu registration  EmptyFri Jun 20, 2014 3:01 am

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't this an Ijutsu skill? If this jutsu is canon, please link me to your source.

Here it is nope it's a ninjustu


am sorry, but this is a KKG Jutsu ability only

Hm? Dance of the shikigami isn't listed as a kkg on the wiki. Konan was confirmed to have no bloodline that manipulated paper, she was simply talented in origami and turned it into a fighting style. There is no advanced element named "paper" or paper release in canon to say otherwise.


Elaborate on the size, shape and degree of burning the sword can cause- also, reword its usage a little. The way you word it, sounds like an autohit.

try it out now, idk what part sounded like an authit.

This is a sub-specialization of Fuinjutsu, as you say- Juinjutsu, we don't have this specialization up yet, so please reconsider this jutsu.

Juinjusut doesn't require its own specialty, there is nothing different from it than regular fuinjustu, unlike puppetry following under weapon arts, this is the same practice, sealing, and effect. Juinjustu are just fuinjustu used to bring people under the control of another, there isn't really in effect that separates them from normal fuinjustu style.

I would allow a 1 stat increase in SPD, but being a maintained form, this jutsu would require 20 chakra per post after the first post(Which is a rule of 50% of the initial jutsu cost per post for maintained jutsu) Also, this seems more like an S Rank jutsu, given its several abilities, please consider nerfing it a bit.

I'm fine with whatever cost, I'll add in the speed increase bit, what would you want nerfed in here? I don't think fire wings that can shoot 6 fireballs is too op.


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Chuunin

Vex
Vex
Male Posts : 1428
Ryo : 396513

Character sheet
Chakra:
Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Left_bar_bleue190/190Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty_bar_bleue  (190/190)

Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty
PostSubject: Re: Otanshi, Alice justu registration    Otanshi, Alice justu registration  EmptySat Jun 21, 2014 12:09 am

Temporary Paralysis technique

  • I see, to make this fair; you can only paralyze one person per use- a skilled shinobi would be able to paralyze all the enemies within their immediate vision: this being said, if you planned to do that, it would cost an additional 10 chakra per target. State this In your description. Also limit the duration to 1 post, being it is a D Rank jutsu.


Dance of the shikigami

  • Regardless of whether the Wikipedia says this is a KKG or not, on Legacy, we are treating it as a KKG.


Heavenly Prison fire sword
  • Remember by our general jutsu rules regarding cooldowns, a B Rank jutsu has a 6 post cooldown- being that it has a 5 post duration, I would bump the cooldown to this to 8 posts. Either that or reduce the duration of this jutsu a bit.


Fire Release Heavenly Prison
  • Bluntly put, I do not believe it is fair for a sealing technique to be able to drain an opponent's chakra. I will have to get Eden-chan or Hisa-chan to go over this jutsu.


Icarus
  • The issue being that these wings give you a speed boost, while also being able to be used as weapons, while also being able to shoot fireballs... doesn't seem OP? See my point? Take out the fireballs sections if you would.


As a general rule, your cooldowns largely vary for the ranked jutsu; you need to go through your jutsu and make sure they all follow the minimal cooldown requirement per rank. Such as D-2post cooldown, C-4, B-6, A-8 &S-10. Your A Ranks are missing nearly half their cooldown requirement
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Jounin

Alice
Alice
Posts : 10
Ryo : 0

Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty
PostSubject: Re: Otanshi, Alice justu registration    Otanshi, Alice justu registration  EmptyMon Jun 23, 2014 11:27 pm

fixed cool downs for you

fixed d rank

made new canon b rank

I do not see the big problem with the seal, many other seals in canon drain chakra it is not a new thing. Seals that need to be placed with contact are usually somewhat strong since the actual reality of making contact with someone in a fight, unless they want to be hit, is generally a lot lower than a projectile base attack, or an attack with a wide range.

edited icarus, took out the wing weapon part, and fixed speed.
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Jounin

Alice
Alice
Posts : 10
Ryo : 0

Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty
PostSubject: Re: Otanshi, Alice justu registration    Otanshi, Alice justu registration  EmptyTue Jun 24, 2014 4:23 am

bump for edited response and more edits
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Fubukikage

Xavier
Xavier
Male Posts : 1341
Ryo : 328713

Character sheet
Chakra:
Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Left_bar_bleue480/480Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty_bar_bleue  (480/480)

Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty
PostSubject: Re: Otanshi, Alice justu registration    Otanshi, Alice justu registration  EmptyWed Jun 25, 2014 8:31 pm

Boooop~ This doesn't mean I'm here to work, just... assisting

Temporary Paralysis technique

  • So what is restraining them exactly? Your chakra? Reading it there's nothing really stopping them from moving besides you looking at them? This jutsu seems like it's more Genjutsu then anything. And yes I've read the link. Even your description says that the opponent FEELS bound by chains but aren't really, that sounds like the making of Genjutsu.
  • Is it possible for the user to anyway to break free of this technique?
  • Is looking into the eyes the key to using this technique? Or is it activated in multiple ways? If it is the eyes please do make that clear.


Katon: Hosenka no Jutsu

  • I apologize as this is a canon jutsu and it should've been handled earlier but you would you mind giving this jutsu a speed and a range? It would be much appreciated.


Character bind technique
Ayatsuru

  • Going to have to say no to this, controlling another's character in any shape or form is considered godmodding, change it or remove it.

    iwa, rock
  • Give a definite range, small, medium, or large wont work as that is always a wild card.
  • So if I'm reading this correctly, if your Fuuinjutsu skill is B but the opponent's Strength skill is A, they can break free of this jutsu?
  • B- Rank jutsu so the cooldown is 6.
  • Is the caster able to move while this jutsu is in play?

    baku, explode
  • Are the explosions random or does the caster decide where?
  • How close would you have to be in order for the explosion to break bones?
  • Is there a knock back effect?
  • Definte range.
  • Cooldown 6

    hi, fire
  • Speed of the blaze?
  • Cooldown is 6

    en, flames
  • How tall and wide is the wall?
  • If touched what kind of damage we looking at?
  • Cooldown is 6

    zan
  • Speed?
  • Can the wind sword be blocked by normal swords?
  • Definite range?
  • How deep can the swords cut?
  • Cooldown is 6

    katsu, split
  • How quickly does the ground split open?
  • Cooldown is 6


    Heavenly Prison fire sword
  • Can they be put out by normal water?
  • Is the user slowed down by the sword or maneuverability effected in any way?
  • How deep can it pierce?
  • How quickly does the flame mold itself into the sword?
  • Can it be blocked by normal swords?
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Jounin

Alice
Alice
Posts : 10
Ryo : 0

Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty
PostSubject: Re: Otanshi, Alice justu registration    Otanshi, Alice justu registration  EmptyThu Jun 26, 2014 6:30 am

So what is restraining them exactly? Your chakra? Reading it there's nothing really stopping them from moving besides you looking at them? This jutsu seems like it's more Genjutsu then anything. And yes I've read the link. Even your description says that the opponent FEELS bound by chains but aren't really, that sounds like the making of Genjutsu.
Is it possible for the user to anyway to break free of this technique?
Is looking into the eyes the key to using this technique? Or is it activated in multiple ways? If it is the eyes please do make that clear.

I would guess chakra is being exuded from the user and immobilizing the target or targets by binding their bodies with it physically, but it is not much explained upon in the manga or the wiki. I wouldn't really think of this as a genjustu as 1st of all known of the known users had much skill in genjustu anywyas, besides Kaguya, though she most likely excels in all forms of ninja techniques. I would also not call this a genjustu because it is not casting an illusion of any kind, the target feels like they are bound by steel ropes, it doesn't make them see steel ropes, or believe they are there, secondly the justu has no sensory trigger to issue it a genjustu, as it has been known to be cast many different ways. Oroichimaru originally showed it being cast by simply getting near to Anko and performing a half tiger seal, without any need for eye contract or physical touch. Kaguya and Fuka showed the ability to perform the technique by simply looking at their victims, though with Fuka the user felt as if there body was being turned to stone, differing it from Orochimaru's version. Kaguya had tears roll from her eyes as she did the technique and naruto and sasuke simply stopped moving with no other similarities to the other two versions of the technique.

I apologize as this is a canon jutsu and it should've been handled earlier but you would you mind giving this jutsu a speed and a range? It would be much appreciated.

I don't really know what speed system you want me to use for this. I've looked at other peoples' justu pages and found no use of speed comparisons or speed rankings, I've also seen other people with this same technique have the same copy as me, which is taken from the site's canon page. So I don't really know why I am the only person being asked to do this, let alone how to do it anyways lol.

Going to have to say no to this, controlling another's character in any shape or form is considered godmodding, change it or remove it.

It's really not godmodding since I am not controlling them for no given reason, there are many techniques in naruto that allow a person to control another, many genjusut, puppet achivement with a human body, the yamanaka clan, the nara clan, etc, so I really do not see the big deal. How to you propose I change it.

iwa, rock
Give a definite range, small, medium, or large wont work as that is always a wild card.
So if I'm reading this correctly, if your Fuuinjutsu skill is B but the opponent's Strength skill is A, they can break free of this jutsu?
B- Rank jutsu so the cooldown is 6.
Is the caster able to move while this jutsu is in play?

It won't work? I've seen other justu have the same listings for range and get approved just fine, strange. Yes you are reading correctly, I will fix the cooldown, and yes the castor can move once they send the kanji, why would they not?

baku, explode
Are the explosions random or does the caster decide where?
How close would you have to be in order for the explosion to break bones?
Is there a knock back effect?
Definte range.
Cooldown 6

I won't repeat the range question that I asked before, The explosions happen in radius of the kanji when it stops moving. They would have to be hit by, or nearby the explosion to have a bone broken, added in knock back effect and cooldown.

hi, fire
Speed of the blaze?
Cooldown is 6

Again I do not know what speed ranking I am supposed to use as I have never seen anyone else really use one in the justu pages I have looked at.

en, flames
How tall and wide is the wall?
If touched what kind of damage we looking at?
Cooldown is 6

edited.

zan
Speed?
Can the wind sword be blocked by normal swords?
Definite range?
How deep can the swords cut?
Cooldown is 6
It says how deep the blades can cut already, and added in that the blades can be blocked by A rank swords completely, and their power can be halved by being blocked by a b rank sword.
katsu, split
How quickly does the ground split open?
Cooldown is 6


Can they be put out by normal water?
Is the user slowed down by the sword or maneuverability effected in any way?
How deep can it pierce?
How quickly does the flame mold itself into the sword?
Can it be blocked by normal swords?

added in water bit
No hindrance was seen when the justu was used in the movie.
Added in sword bit.
Idk what u mean how fast it molds, it molds instantly once the justu starts.

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Fubukikage

Xavier
Xavier
Male Posts : 1341
Ryo : 328713

Character sheet
Chakra:
Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Left_bar_bleue480/480Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty_bar_bleue  (480/480)

Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty
PostSubject: Re: Otanshi, Alice justu registration    Otanshi, Alice justu registration  EmptyWed Jul 02, 2014 9:06 pm

My apologies for my stalling, my head's everywhere.


Temporary Paralysis technique
Alice wrote:
I would guess chakra is being exuded from the user and immobilizing the target or targets by binding their bodies with it physically, but it is not much explained upon in the manga or the wiki. I wouldn't really think of this as a genjustu as 1st of all known of the known users had much skill in genjustu anywyas, besides Kaguya, though she most likely excels in all forms of ninja techniques. I would also not call this a genjustu because it is not casting an illusion of any kind, the target feels like they are bound by steel ropes, it doesn't make them see steel ropes, or believe they are there, secondly the justu has no sensory trigger to issue it a genjustu, as it has been known to be cast many different ways. Oroichimaru originally showed it being cast by simply getting near to Anko and performing a half tiger seal, without any need for eye contract or physical touch. Kaguya and Fuka showed the ability to perform the technique by simply looking at their victims, though with Fuka the user felt as if there body was being turned to stone, differing it from Orochimaru's version. Kaguya had tears roll from her eyes as she did the technique and naruto and sasuke simply stopped moving with no other similarities to the other two versions of the technique.

  • You say they don't see or believe they're there but they're being bound by literally nothing, they can "feel" steel ropes but nothing is actually there which is a qualification for genjutsu. Anko had the curse mark which probably allowed Orochimaru to immobilize her, looking at your target is a trigger as Itachi or any Sharingan user adept in genjutsu(Sense we're using canon examples) can simply look at an opponent and they're caught.


Katon: Hosenka no Jutsu
Alice wrote:
I don't really know what speed system you want me to use for this. I've looked at other peoples' justu pages and found no use of speed comparisons or speed rankings, I've also seen other people with this same technique have the same copy as me, which is taken from the site's canon page. So I don't really know why I am the only person being asked to do this, let alone how to do it anyways lol.

  • You wont be the only one subject to the change, the jutsu library will be reviewed and any changes that are made everyone will have to take the updated version into their jutsu registrations, so you'd be saving yourself the trouble by doing this now.
  • As for how, just simply give it a speed based off MPH but make it seem fitting for its rank, if its too high we'll lower it or too low we'll increase it. Range should be self explanatory.


Character bind technique
Ayatsuru
Alice wrote:
It's really not godmodding since I am not controlling them for no given reason, there are many techniques in naruto that allow a person to control another, many genjusut, puppet achivement with a human body, the yamanaka clan, the nara clan, etc, so I really do not see the big deal. How to you propose I change it.

  • Genjutsu is a tricky and sensitive case. However they are limited in their own right. Those two canon clans aren't made and probably won't be due to the concept of godmodding in them, if they were they'd be nerfed and supervised severely. The big deal is you're literally taking control and power from ones character and allowing yourself to do whatever you want with them for 5 posts. Honestly there is no means of changing it to roll with this concept, you may have to change it completely to something else, I do apologize.


iwa, rock

  • If there were jutsu approved with range descriptions such as these point me in their direction and they will be dealt with.
  • As for the movement thing, its just to make sure, add it in if you haven't already.


baku, explode

  • I'm aware they'd have to be near the explosion but how close? If A was about 5 feet from the explosion while B was 25 feet away would B still get broken bones? Which is why a range is needed.


hi, fire

  • Normally jutsu speeds are ranked by Mph. Again point the way to jutsu that don't have speeds and I'll deal with them.


katsu, split

  • No response?


Heavenly Prison fire sword

  • When I said how quickly it molds, I meant how quickly does it go from being a little flame into a sword but you said the answer, instantaneous. Add it in.
  • How hot is it? Can't be melting swords instantly if it isn't hot enough.
  • Is the user effected by the heat?
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Jounin

Hisame
Hisame
Female Posts : 734
Ryo : 598400

Character sheet
Chakra:
Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Left_bar_bleue315/315Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty_bar_bleue  (315/315)

Otanshi, Alice justu registration  Empty
PostSubject: Re: Otanshi, Alice justu registration    Otanshi, Alice justu registration  EmptyWed Jul 02, 2014 10:54 pm

All further grading on the Temporary paralysis technique can stop at this time since it will likely be removed/banned. The reason being pretty obvious. This will be decided soon.
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