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 Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22

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Chuunin

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PostSubject: Re: Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22   Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 EmptyTue May 13, 2014 12:39 am

The art of controlling someone else' blood will not be allowed. There is however a clan already on this site that does blood manipulation, CLick Here
Also- please reconsider your S Rank, this jutsu is too OP/Godmod.
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Genin

Shinkan
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PostSubject: Re: Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22   Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 EmptyTue May 13, 2014 1:15 am

Semasu wrote:
The art of controlling someone else' blood will not be allowed. There is however a clan already on this site that does blood manipulation, CLick Here
Also- please reconsider your S Rank, this jutsu is too OP/Godmod.
So would this clans bloodline limit not be valid since there is already a clan with blood manipulation or is it still valid since this one only boils their own blood for attacks and doesn't really manipulate it like what I read on thread for that clan you sent me since it seems they don't really do anything like boiling their blood? If it is I removed all the blood manipulation I had at first redid the S and one C rank and removed controlling other peoples blood.
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Chuunin

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PostSubject: Re: Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22   Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 EmptyTue May 13, 2014 1:45 am

Elaborate on this clan's ability and how it works. How exactly is the blood manipulated? You said it boils, right? The elements that make it boil, is it water fire or what? The Ketsuiki clan uses water in their manipulation: the way you describe jutsu using the blood is pretty vague.

What degree is the burns that the jutsus and what is this jutsu's weakness?
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Genin

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PostSubject: Re: Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22   Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 EmptyTue May 13, 2014 2:01 am

Semasu wrote:
Elaborate on this clan's ability and how it works. How exactly is the blood manipulated? You said it boils, right? The elements that make it boil, is it water fire or what? The Ketsuiki clan uses water in their manipulation: the way you describe jutsu using the blood is pretty vague.

What degree is the burns that the jutsus and what is this jutsu's weakness?
Is that better for the elaboration on how it boils? Also added the weaknesses and what is a reasnable duration for the S Ranked? not sure since the idea behind it is that it inscreases their blood pressure .
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Chuunin

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PostSubject: Re: Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22   Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 EmptyTue May 13, 2014 2:53 am

This is more like it, it clearly shows the difference between the other blood clan: however I might suggest you mentioning something about using your tenketsu points or something as a way of rapidly expelling your blood. Also please specify that you cannot steal blood from someone else's body, just loose blood on the battlefield.

Futtou Tacchi (Boiling Touch)
  • The jutsu range specifies "long range" but you clarify in your description that it requires touching/striking- please clear this up.


Aka Tama (Bloody Ball)
  • At most, this could cause a burn degree of 2. Also, all C Rank jutsu have a cooldown of 4 posts, D have 2 posts as well.


Chi Oshi (Blood Pressure)
  • You nerfed this jutsu too much: an S Rank jutsu can kill someone(Though only in a death enabled thread) Also- elaborate on how much physical activity can make the opponent pass out. Also how how quickly this effect dissipates through the body.
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Genin

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PostSubject: Re: Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22   Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 EmptyTue May 13, 2014 8:21 pm

Semasu wrote:
This is more like it, it clearly shows the difference between the other blood clan: however I might suggest you mentioning something about using your tenketsu points or something as a way of rapidly expelling your blood. Also please specify that you cannot steal blood from someone else's body, just loose blood on the battlefield.

Futtou Tacchi (Boiling Touch)

  • The jutsu range specifies "long range" but you clarify in your description that it requires touching/striking- please clear this up.



Aka Tama (Bloody Ball)

  • At most, this could cause a burn degree of 2. Also, all C Rank jutsu have a cooldown of 4 posts, D have 2 posts as well.



Chi Oshi (Blood Pressure)

  • You nerfed this jutsu too much: an S Rank jutsu can kill someone(Though only in a death enabled thread) Also- elaborate on how much physical activity can make the opponent pass out. Also how how quickly this effect dissipates through the body.

Did what you said if anything else is still wrong or needs adjustments tell me and I will be happy to oblige!
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PostSubject: Re: Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22   Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 EmptyTue May 13, 2014 9:46 pm

Alright I've slept since yesterday and a couple things were pointed out to me.

D Rank jutsu
  • Correction on the rank of degrees. No D Rank jutsu is allowed to give 2nd degree burns


Aka Joui (Bloody Coat)

  • The duration of this jutsu needs to be a set number of posts or an "Upkeep" cost requirement for more than the set number of posts- such as Requiring chakra every post after initial use(Which would be half of the initial cost: being that this is D Rank & costs 10 chakra- the upkeep/maintenance would be 5 chakra per post)


Chi Oshi (Blood Pressure)
  • Correction on this jutsu cooldown- S Rank jutsu require a minimum of 10 post cooldown. However, clan specific S Rank jutsu have a minimum of 16 post cooldown.
    Quote :
    QUOTE: "The farthest a person can go without causing themselves to pass out is C Rank speed/jutsu, B Rank and their heart will most likely stop their heart."
    - This jutsu gives an exact limit on what anyone can do without a regard to their END stat: it is too OP. Add that the effectiveness will be determined by the opponent's END stat(Such as someone with a rank higher END that you could exert themselves beyond your expectation
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Genin

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Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22   Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 EmptyTue May 13, 2014 11:32 pm

Semasu wrote:
Alright I've slept since yesterday and a couple things were pointed out to me.

D Rank jutsu

  • Correction on the rank of degrees. No D Rank jutsu is allowed to give 2nd degree burns


Aka Joui (Bloody Coat)


  • The duration of this jutsu needs to be a set number of posts or an "Upkeep" cost requirement for more than the set number of posts- such as Requiring chakra every post after initial use(Which would be half of the initial cost: being that this is D Rank & costs 10 chakra- the upkeep/maintenance would be 5 chakra per post)


Chi Oshi (Blood Pressure)

  • Correction on this jutsu cooldown- S Rank jutsu require a minimum of 10 post cooldown. However, clan specific S Rank jutsu have a minimum of 16 post cooldown.
    Quote :
    QUOTE: "The farthest a person can go without causing themselves to pass out is C Rank speed/jutsu, B Rank and their heart will most likely stop their heart."
    - This jutsu gives an exact limit on what anyone can do without a regard to their END stat: it is too OP. Add that the effectiveness will be determined by the opponent's END stat(Such as someone with a rank higher END that you could exert themselves beyond your expectation

I decided to redo my S Rank since the other jutsu was based around burning the opponent on the outside of their body so I felt the S should be the same I wasnt sure what kind of burns S Rank was allowed to do so I just put 3rd Degree Hopefully this fixed everything and that I didn't make the S too OP or too nerfed and hit it in the middle this time
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PostSubject: Re: Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22   Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 EmptyWed May 14, 2014 12:44 am

Chi Kawa (Blood Stream)
  • Specify this jutsu can only be used once per topic for shinobi with A Rank or lower END and a maximum of twice for a shinobi with S Rank END. Also- I suggest mixing the blood with acid instead of draining the acid: otherwise you would suffer from intestinal discomfort and pain afterwards.


Make the small edit and then bump.
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Genin

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Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22   Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 EmptyWed May 14, 2014 12:58 am

Semasu wrote:
Chi Kawa (Blood Stream)

  • Specify this jutsu can only be used once per topic for shinobi with A Rank or lower END and a maximum of twice for a shinobi with S Rank END. Also- I suggest mixing the blood with acid instead of draining the acid: otherwise you would suffer from intestinal discomfort and pain afterwards.



Make the small edit and then bump.
Thanks for the suggestion about mixing the blood with the acid I didn't really think about that.
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Chuunin

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Vex
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PostSubject: Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22   Clan Approval Fixes/Posts #22 EmptyWed May 14, 2014 1:09 am

Approved
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