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The islands in Ocean Country have been celebrating the arrival of the next Umikage, Saizo. The long bridge leading to SHIPPUUGAKURE NO SATO has been closed for outsiders because they wish to celebrate this moment with Ocean Country natives only.
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 Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]

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AuthorMessage
Genin

Ryota
Ryota
Male Posts : 83
Ryo : 22000

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue155/155Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (155/155)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyMon Aug 26, 2013 6:57 am

Academy Jutsu:

E-Rank:

D-rank:


Last edited by Ryota on Sun Mar 23, 2014 10:35 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Jounin

Hisame
Hisame
Female Posts : 734
Ryo : 598400

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue315/315Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (315/315)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyMon Aug 26, 2013 1:17 pm

Ikimuno Benkuo will cost you 1000 Ryo to start with it, if it is not part of the 5 starter slots.

Other than that, everything else looks fine. Bump the topic once changes are made.
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Genin

Ryota
Ryota
Male Posts : 83
Ryo : 22000

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue155/155Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (155/155)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyMon Aug 26, 2013 3:53 pm

Removed Ikimonu Benkou, should be fine now.
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
Female Posts : 2298
Ryo : 1597319

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue500/500Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (500/500)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyMon Aug 26, 2013 4:04 pm

Approved. 1/2.
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Jounin

Hisame
Hisame
Female Posts : 734
Ryo : 598400

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue315/315Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (315/315)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyMon Aug 26, 2013 7:09 pm

Approved 2/2

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Approved_zps6da77187
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Genin

Ryota
Ryota
Male Posts : 83
Ryo : 22000

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue155/155Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (155/155)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyMon Mar 24, 2014 12:31 am

D-rank:

C-rank:


Last edited by Ryota on Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:08 am; edited 8 times in total
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Chuunin

Vex
Vex
Male Posts : 1428
Ryo : 396513

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue190/190Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (190/190)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyTue Mar 25, 2014 12:33 am

電気しがみつくDenki Shigamitsuku

  • I would suggest as a D Rank, this could paralyze only  1 limb per post.


麻痺シール Mahi Shīru

  • Still unsure about this jutsu, but it doesn't feel quite explained enough. Would said object/medium's seals be rendered their effect useless if things crossed lines(such as blocking them with a kunai)
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Genin

Ryota
Ryota
Male Posts : 83
Ryo : 22000

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue155/155Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (155/155)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyTue Mar 25, 2014 9:42 am

電気しがみつくDenki Shigamitsuku

  • Made the suggested edit


麻痺シール Mahi Shīru

  • To answer your question, the seals themselves wouldn't be rendered useless per say. If the seal is attached to a medium and is trying to be attached to a target it can be blocked or dodged normally as anything else, so long as it does not make contact with a targets limb, as in which case it would take effect. So blocking it with a kunai or other like means would be valid. And if the jutsu is used without a medium, simply attempting to be applied through direct contact, then the target would need to avoid direct contact with the user.


Hope this clarifies.
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Chuunin

Vex
Vex
Male Posts : 1428
Ryo : 396513

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue190/190Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (190/190)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyTue Mar 25, 2014 8:53 pm

I don't see problems with it then, so with the edits I suggested made- I approve this, but it needs another approval before you can use them.
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Jounin

Hisame
Hisame
Female Posts : 734
Ryo : 598400

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue315/315Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (315/315)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyWed Mar 26, 2014 9:01 pm

Denki Shigamitsuku - Paralysis seems like a bit much for a D-rank technique. I would go more towards numbing and restraining limbs, since it's done with the cloth. I would also place an ability to be able to break out of this based on a certain level of strength. After all I don't think you're going to be able to restrain someone who is much stronger than you or the technique for the full duration. Also, with you abilities to manipulate cloth taking into consideration, it shouldn't be hard to justify this level of restraint, as you can increase the durability of your cloth.

Idō Shīru Yusō - This is just baby flying thunder god. Change it please. Even if you gauge the speed on it, it pretty much serves the same purpose. If you want a speed increasing jutsu, I would suggest a seal to place on yourself or others that permit it, or just make a ninjutsu that allows such, within reason for it's rank of course.

Mahi Shīru - There needs to be a maximum amount of seals you can place total, whether it be on the same target, or multiple targets. This number can increase by rank if you would like to spread them out effectively. With a max of only 4 at a time on a single person. I would also decrease the amount of seals you can place down to 2, simply because for the activation of it once, you can practically render someone useless if you manage to apply all three at a time. With the max at 4 and placement at 2, you make it so you have to use the technique twice to render all 4 limbs temporary paralyzed. At higher ranks, it becomes more difficult to restrain foes in general, so I may consider increasing the amount of seals at the A-rank to 3, though this is still iffy because it only requires contact with a part of the limb, for the seal to affect all of it. We may discuss this if you would like to.

Bump once changes are made.
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Genin

Ryota
Ryota
Male Posts : 83
Ryo : 22000

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue155/155Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (155/155)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyThu Mar 27, 2014 9:17 am

Denki Shigamitsuku - Edits made. Keeping it simply to numbing areas hit, don't have the desire for it to be any more complex

Idō Shīru Yusō - I believe you misunderstood this technique. It has nothing to do with increasing anyone's speed or physical movement. It just simply moves previously made seals by the user remotely.

Mahi Shīru - Edits made to the best of my understanding. Hopefully I corrected all the issues you had.
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Jounin

Hisame
Hisame
Female Posts : 734
Ryo : 598400

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue315/315Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (315/315)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyFri Mar 28, 2014 11:10 pm

Mahi Shīru - You forgot to mention that you can only place 2 seals at a time per activation of the technique. You can have the A-rank be 3.

Idō Shīru Yusō - I did. I though it moved you to the seal. That's my bad. This technique is fine then.

Just add the last detail and you're good.
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Genin

Ryota
Ryota
Male Posts : 83
Ryo : 22000

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue155/155Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (155/155)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptySat Mar 29, 2014 1:04 am

Mahi Shiru- I have the seal usages mentioned in the respective tier breakdowns.
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Jounin

Hisame
Hisame
Female Posts : 734
Ryo : 598400

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue315/315Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (315/315)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptySun Mar 30, 2014 12:16 am

Thank you, very well done.

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Approved_zps6da77187

Feel free to add them to your jutsu list.
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Genin

Ryota
Ryota
Male Posts : 83
Ryo : 22000

Character sheet
Chakra:
Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Left_bar_bleue155/155Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty_bar_bleue  (155/155)

Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration]   Ryota Kogure [Jutsu Registration] EmptyFri Sep 26, 2014 8:49 pm

[b:fe40]Name:[/b:fe40] 風のツール女神 Kaze no Tsūru Megami
[b:fe40]Canon/Custom:[/b:fe40] Custom
[b:fe40]Rank:[/b:fe40] C
[b:fe40]Type:[/b:fe40] Offensive, Defensive
[b:fe40]Element:[/b:fe40] Fuuton
[b:fe40]Range:[/b:fe40] Close Range
[b:fe40]Specialty:[/b:fe40] Ninjutsu
[b:fe40]Duration:[/b:fe40] Chakra Upkeep
[b:fe40]Cooldown:[/b:fe40] 4 posts
[b:fe40]Description:[/b:fe40] By applying fuuton chakra into their immediate vicinity, the user can create and sustain an orbital current of wind around them for the purpose of circulating basic ninja tools and variants of the like. In a spherical rotation, weapons wheel around the user and are capable of defending physical as well as other weapon based attacks/jutsu C-rank and lower. Offensively, the circulating wind can simply be blasted outward at the users will, knocking back unprepared foes and launching any weapons previously orbiting within its grasp. Costs two chakra per turn to maintain. Can circulate up to a maximum of ten weapons. The technique ends if blasted outward offensively.

[b:fe40]Name:[/b:fe40] 地上雷 Chijō Kaminari
[b:fe40]Canon/Custom:[/b:fe40] Custom
[b:fe40]Rank:[/b:fe40] C
[b:fe40]Type:[/b:fe40] Offensive, Defensive
[b:fe40]Element:[/b:fe40] Raiton
[b:fe40]Range:[/b:fe40] Close Range
[b:fe40]Specialty:[/b:fe40] Ninjutsu
[b:fe40]Duration:[/b:fe40] Chakra Upkeep
[b:fe40]Cooldown:[/b:fe40] 4 posts
[b:fe40]Description:[/b:fe40] The user performs the necessary hand seals and charges their raiton energy into the ground beneath their feet. The electric current proceeds to follow clandestinely beneath the user at the cost of one chakra upkeep each turn it is maintained. At the users will the electric energy can be unleashed, shooting up from the ground in a dense bolt of lightning to attack targets in range or defend incoming attacks. The ration current is good for three usages before the technique ends. Offensively the lightning can pierce through wood and average metals and is capable of numbing any limbs struck. Defensively it can withstand up to C-rank jutsu, but only up to D-rank against fuuton jutsu.
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