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 Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration

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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
Female Posts : 2298
Ryo : 1597319

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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Left_bar_bleue500/500Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty_bar_bleue  (500/500)

Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Apr 18, 2013 2:49 pm

Free jutsu

D-Rank Jutsu



Name: Raiton Unryo no Jutsu
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Raiton
Range: 50 feet around user
Duration: 3 posts
Cooldown: 3 posts
Description: Requires handseals necessary for this rank and the user must be standing still in order to feel such movements. The user releases a burst of chakra looking similar to smoke 50 feet in diameter around the user and sends static through it. The smoke itself obscures the vision of the user and target(s), but the static is NOT visible (static used only to feel in the smoke; does not cause harm to the user or target(s)). This allows the user to feel the movements of anything or anyone within its 50 foot circumference and any projectiles that fly into it.

C-Rank Jutsu



Name: Wind Release: Air Bullets
Canon/Custom: Canon
Rank: C-Rank
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Fuuton
Range: All Ranges
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 4 posts
Description: This technique shoots multiple bullets of air at the victim with intense speed. The bullets also have great power, able to crush boulders. Can fire 5 bullets during duration.

B-Rank Jutsu



Name: Gian [False Darkness]
Canon/Custom: Canon
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Element: Raiton
Rank: B
Type: Offensive
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 7 posts
Effects: A lightning-based jutsu which charges a great bolt of lightning, springing forth from the user's mouth and shooting off at an enemy. This missile is particularly destructive, rendering anything weaker than rock near into rubble as it shoots off at a foe, impaling them and at the same time shocking their body. Its strength is such that most barriers will fail to protect the user, for even if the actual bolt itself does not strike you, the electrical energy may still pass into you. This jutsu is special out of all the Raiton jutsu because of its piercing ability. It's been known to go through people who do nothing to stop it or if it doesn't hit anything on its path. The jutsu will penetrate any C rank barrier, and its energy will still pass through B rank barriers causing numbness to whoever is behind it The jutsu itself only causes mild burns but it numbs the skin and surrounding muscle severely as it penetrates deeper into the target. The numbness lasts for 3 posts while paralysis of the injured appendage occurs upon direct hits.

Name: Fūton: Fūjin no Jutsu (Wind Release: Dust Cloud Technique)
Canon/Custom: Canon
Rank: B-Rank
Type: Offensive
Element: Fuuton (Wind)
Range: All Ranges
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 6 posts
Description: This technique creates a stream of high-velocity wind containing dust particles, capable of decimating anything caught in it in only a matter of moments. The completed technique is directed through vertically overlapped hands that are placed in front of the user's mouth after forming the necessary hand seals.


Last edited by Eden Shinteki on Wed Feb 19, 2014 7:14 am; edited 8 times in total
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Jounin

Strafe
Strafe
Posts : 39
Ryo : 1000

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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Left_bar_bleue250/250Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty_bar_bleue  (250/250)

Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Apr 18, 2013 11:18 pm

The E-Rank is an Academy Jutsu and therefore can be moved straight to your Jutsu List, along with the rest of the Academy Jutsu.

The first two are Approved

The Raiton B-Rank is a bit strong for B-Rank. Give it another drawback or decrease the power.

I need a duration and cooldown section for the Ash jutsu. Other than that, it looks fine.
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
Female Posts : 2298
Ryo : 1597319

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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Apr 18, 2013 11:29 pm

Fixed the raiton B-rank. Added two drawbacks.

The ash jutsu came from the canon jutsu list here on the site and naturally only exists for the one post that it is used, but I added the cooldown.
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Jounin

Strafe
Strafe
Posts : 39
Ryo : 1000

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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Left_bar_bleue250/250Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty_bar_bleue  (250/250)

Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Apr 18, 2013 11:31 pm

Both are Approved

Thanks for the info Eden, I'll bring it to Ry's attention.
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
Female Posts : 2298
Ryo : 1597319

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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyFri Aug 23, 2013 8:08 pm

D-RANK JUTSU



Name: Hiza no Oda (Knee Strike)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: D-rank
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-hand
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 2 posts
Description: Does not require handseals. The user charges raiton chakra to either of his or her knees and hits the target. The target will bruise where hit and will remain numb (minor) in that area for 2 posts.

Name: Hiji no Oda (Elbow Strike)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: D-rank
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-hand
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 2 posts
Description: Does not require handseals. The user charges raiton chakra to either of his or her elbows and hits the target. The target will bruise where hit and will remain numb (minor) in that area for 2 posts.

Name: Kirikizamu (Chop)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: D-rank
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-hand
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 2 posts
Description: Does not require handseals. The user charges raiton chakra to either of his or her hands and hits the target in the neck area with the thumb-side or pinky-side portion of the hand. The target will bruise where hit and will remain numb (minor) in that area for 2 posts.

Name: Kakato Nichiji (Heel Strike)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: D-rank
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-hand
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 2 posts
Description: Does not require handseals. The user charges raiton chakra to either of his or her feet and hits the target with the heel portion of the foot. The target will bruise where hit and will remain numb (minor) in that area for 2 posts.

Name: Eiga (Flick)
Canon/Custom: Custom (The variation is the canon flick when Tsunade flicked Naruto on the forehead.)
Rank: D-rank
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-hand
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 2 posts
Description: Does not require handseals. The user charges raiton chakra to either of his or her hands and places his or her middle finger against the thumb in a flicking position. The user then flicks the opponent somewhere on the face, causing minor bruising and numbness to the area that was flicked for 2 posts. A variation of this works the same way, but with raw chakra only. Using this variation will bruise the flicked area and knock the opponent back. The knockback only applies to an S-rank shinobi using this technique.

Name: Tataku (Punch)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: D-rank
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-hand
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 2 posts
Description: A simple punch with either hand to any part of the opponent’s body. Requires no handseals. Minor bruising and numbness where hit for 2 posts.

Name: Keri (Kick)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: D-rank
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-hand
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 2 posts
Description: A simple kick with either foot to any part of an opponent’s body. Requires no handseals. Minor bruising and numbness where hit for 2 posts.

Name: Hirateuchi (Slap)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: D-rank
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-hand
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 2 posts
Description: A simple slap to the face with either hand. Requires no handseals. Minor bruising and numbness where hit for 2 posts.

Name: Mesu Hirateuchi (Backhand Slap)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: D-rank
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-hand
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 2 posts
Description: A simple slap with the back of either of the user’s hands. Requires no handseals. Minor bruising and numbness where hit for 2 posts.

I am ready for this batch of jutsu to be graded.


Last edited by Eden Shinteki on Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:22 am; edited 2 times in total
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Jounin

Hisame
Hisame
Female Posts : 734
Ryo : 598400

Character sheet
Chakra:
Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Left_bar_bleue315/315Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty_bar_bleue  (315/315)

Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyFri Aug 23, 2013 8:17 pm

All look fine to me.

Approval: 1/2
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Seinin

Jojo Kaguya
Jojo Kaguya
Male Posts : 1347
Ryo : 493454

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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Left_bar_bleue360/360Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty_bar_bleue  (360/360)

Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptySat Aug 24, 2013 6:43 am

If these jutsu were for the taijutsu board of jutsu I'd like you to make it into a seperate topic itself, but if these are for you then I approve them as well,

2/2
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
Female Posts : 2298
Ryo : 1597319

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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Left_bar_bleue500/500Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty_bar_bleue  (500/500)

Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Nov 14, 2013 4:52 am

I deducted ryo already 3 weeks ago, but I never bumped. Ryo was deducted and I will be training them with Hisame.
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
Female Posts : 2298
Ryo : 1597319

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Chakra:
Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Left_bar_bleue500/500Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty_bar_bleue  (500/500)

Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyFri Jan 10, 2014 12:21 am

Three of my free jutsu were Katon and I no longer have that element, so I switched them with new jutsu from the database.
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
Female Posts : 2298
Ryo : 1597319

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Chakra:
Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Left_bar_bleue500/500Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty_bar_bleue  (500/500)

Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptySat Feb 08, 2014 7:25 am

Seven Gods Strike Death

Start at 2.35:




Name: Raijin Yōshiki: Shichifukujindesu· o Tataki (雷神様式: 七福神デス·を叩き - Thunder God Style: Seven Gods Strike Death)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: A
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-Hand
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 10 posts
Description: This nintaijutsu combination consists of seven strikes that each serve an explicit purpose when attacking an opponent. Eden charges raiton chakra throughout his body and runs at the opponent, thus setting up the first of the seven strikes. Each of these strikes, due to the raiton nature, add additional heavy second degree electrical burns in each of the areas the opponent is struck. After this technique is used, Eden's fatigue levels become very high. He can still fight, but if the opponent manages to survive the attack, he has to end the fight in some way before he passes out.

  • Ryuuryoku Kakao: This is the first strike; it is aimed to the opponent's stomach. The purpose of this technique is to set up the rest of the combination. This punch is meant to pierce through armor, but in most cases the opponent isn't wearing chest armor, so the punch simply takes the wind completely out of them, lifts them into the air, and leaves the opponent completely vulnerable for a few seconds, thus allowing Eden to continue the combination. If this first strike misses, Eden will not lose chakra but half of the full cooldown will be in effect. This punch potentially breaks several ribs in the process of knocking the wind out of the opponent.

  • Kyouka Suigetsu: This is the second strike; it is aimed to the opponent's chest. The purpose of this technique is simply a follow-up to the first, but it forces the chakra paths in the chest to disperse. This palm strike is useful because it prevents the opponent from using jutsu to thwart the rest of the combination. This palm strike potentially tears up the muscles and ligaments in the chest area in the process of disrupting chakra flow in that area. This strike only disrupts the opponent's flow of chakra, meaning the opponent could still pull off jutsu, but it would be much more difficult.

  • Hika Rakyuou: This is the third strike; it is aimed to the opponent's chest once again. The purpose of this double-palm strike is to further disrupt the opponent's flow of chakra in the chest area. Once this strike hits, there is no chance of the opponent being able to get out of it. This double-palm strike potentially shatters the opponent's chakra flow in the chest area for the duration of the technique, on top of fracturing the bones within that area.

  • Rakka Rouzeki: This is the fourth strike; it is aimed at the back of the head. The purpose of this axe kick is to rattle the opponent's brain, clouding up their ability to think cohesively. This axe kick potentially displaces the vertebrae at the top of the opponent's spine, on top of the rattled brain.

  • Hyakka Ryouran: This is the fifth strike; it is aimed at the opponent's left side. After the axe kick lands, Eden swings his right leg around to hit the opponent's right side with the heel side of his leg. The purpose of this kick is to further weaken the opponent by breaking several ribs on the left side as well as knocking around his right kidney.

  • Tenka Kinjou: This is the sixth strike; it is aimed at both of the opponent's shoulders. Once the side kick lands, Eden twists back around, jumps in the air and utilizes a double karate chop to crash them down on the opponent's shoulders. The purpose of this technique is to render the opponent's arms unusable for a period of 3 of their own posts (if they manage to survive the technique).

  • Kachou Fuugetsu: This is the seventh and final strike; it is aimed at the direct center of the torso. Once the double karate chop lands, Eden moves into a forward horse stance and throws a devastating strike to the center of the opponent's torso. The purpose of this final technique is to render the opponent either dead or greatly injured.




Name: Rakurai Tsumujikaze (落雷つむじ風 – Lightning Whirlwind)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: A
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton + Fuuton
Range: 50 foot diameter; user can move with the technique active for the entirety of the two posts or deactivate it at their own will
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 2 posts
Cooldown: 9 posts
Description: This is a difficult Nintaijutsu technique that requires the user to first charge fuuton chakra around their body and then release it outward by shouting its name "Whirlwind." In order to make it twist like a tornado, the user must spin in place. While spinning, the user must then charge raiton chakra into their hands and feet, allowing the "whirlwind" to absorb the raiton and become, thusly, electrically charged. This electrically charged whirlwind, if making contact with an opponent, will cause intense 2nd degree burns where hit and will lacerate all areas the opponent was hit by the whirlwind. The user moves at 55 km/h while this technique is active.




Name: Kakusa-jutsu: Daishinkū Dangan :: Hidden Art: Great Vacuum Bullet
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: A
Type: Offensive
Element: Fuuton
Range: Any
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: Instant
Cooldown: 2 times per topic; after both uses, 1-day cooldown
Description: Upon handseals and absorbing wind into the body through the mouth, Eden can fire a massive bullet of wind. He fires an ever-expanding bullet from his mouth that travels at 85 mph. The bullet is 20 feet in diameter and it is primarily used to decimate very large groups of enemies due to its great size. The force of this technique is enough to heavily damage a great number of enemies if they are caught in the crossfire, but due to its speed and size, it is extremely difficult to dodge. It is said that this technique can stop the movements of the Susano'o as well as the Tailed Beasts with its power. If it were to be used against Susano'o it can paralyze it for 1 post. In the case of a Tailed Beast, it will send them back several meters and put them in a slight daze for two posts. The Bijuu would still be able to react in combat, but it would be more difficult to think cohesively in the midst of battle.




Name: Dai San Hanji: Ni Yubi no Eikyō :: Third Judge: Two-Finger Impact
Canon/Custom: Canon
Rank: A
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-Hand
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: Instant
Cooldown: 10 posts
Description: Requires no handseals. Requires the activation of Raiton no Yoroi. Eden concentrates raiton chakra to his hand and points toward the opponent with two of his fingers with either hand. The chakra stretches outward from the tips of his fingers, with the end point being much more noticeably pointed. Due to the density of the chakra, it has the potency to blow apart an enforced A-rank Doton wall. Therefore, it is extremely lethal. Each decrease in finger count exponentially increases the raw destructive power of the technique. This is the third of four techniques. If a direct hit is made, no matter where the hit is made, the opponent will be blown back 50-60 yards and be dealt intense third degree electrical burns. This hit will also cut 8 inches into skin and cut up the muscle within the area affected. If only partially hit, the opponent is still blown back due to the raw force of the technique but the affected area only suffers second degree burns with a cut that is 4 inches deep into skin, cutting up the outer layers of muscle tissue on the affected area. In a DE thread, this has high potential to kill on direct impact depending on the area the opponent is hit.




Name: Raijin-sha Kanadzuchi :: Thunder God's Hammer
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: A
Type: Offensive - AOE
Element: Raiton
Range: 100 meter diameter
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: Instant
Cooldown: 10 posts
Description: Requires no handseals. Requires the activation of Raiton no Yoroi. This technique is a combination of raw destructive power and speed in order to create a large Area of Effect. Eden runs at top speed while in Raiton no Yoroi and jumps high into the air. While in the air, he winds back either his right or left arm and charges the raiton armor again throughout his body, thus then charging straight toward the ground and unleashing an extremely powerful Area-of-Effect shockwave with his body as the epicenter. This technique has the potency to induce a very large crater and send shinobi and debris alike through the air, causing major blunt damage to all in the immediate area. All those within the circumference of the shockwave will receive a minimum of intense first degree burns to minor second degree burns. All those within 50 meters of the circumference of the shockwave will receive intense second degree burns. All those within 35 meters of the circumference of the shockwave will receive third degree burns. After impact is made, even Eden feels slightly dizzy for a post and his fatigue levels are a bit higher after using such a devastating technique.




These jutsu are ready to be graded.


Last edited by Eden Shinteki on Wed Apr 09, 2014 12:49 am; edited 7 times in total
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Fubukikage

Xavier
Xavier
Male Posts : 1341
Ryo : 328713

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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Feb 27, 2014 6:57 am

I haven't died <_<..... Still going to blame laziness but your boi is here now. Alrighty onward with the first stage.


Raijin Yōshiki: Shichifukujindesu· o Tataki (雷神様式: 七福神デス·を叩き - Thunder God Style: Seven Gods Strike Death)

  1. Ryuuryoku Kakao:


  • If the attack does indeed miss can the user attempt a second attempt? As the Duration is 1 post.
  • Eden Shinteki wrote:
    half of the full cooldown will be in effect.
    So I'm guessing this means fatigue sets in?



  1. Ryuuryoku Kakao:
  2. Kyouka Suigetsu:


  • Altering ones chakra pathway, in this case "dispersing" it, I would say requires extra chakra to be poured into the body. Reason being because you're basically cutting off an opponent's use to their jutsu which is not an innate ability of Lightning itself. In short unless an extra burst of chakra is used no cutting off one's chakra system.
  • Supposing an opponent counters and/or stops the combo here and the chakra system was temporarily cut off. How long would that last?



Rakurai Tsumujikaze (落雷つむじ風 – Lightning Whirlwind)

  • Lightning is weak against wind in the first place so wouldn't trying to combine the chakra natures dampen the power?
  • Seeing how it is a tornado, is the user capable of being attacked from above at the eye of your tornado or whirlwind?
  • Potential dizziness?

    Kakusa-jutsu: Daishinkū Dangan :: Hidden Art: Great Vacuum Bullet
  • I classify this as an S-Rank jutsu. The potential to stop and paralyze a susano'o and also the strength to knock a bijuu off it's feet and stun it? And you want to use this 4 times in one topic? Yeah definitely not an A rank jutsu, either lower that power or change the rank.
  • So the damage if hit directly by this would be?
  • Give it a range, don't need a wind jutsu tearing through the earth forever (Bit exaggerated but you see my point).

    Dai San Hanji: Ni Yubi no Eikyō :: Third Judge: Two-Finger Impact
  • Blown back how far?

    Raijin-sha Kanadzuchi :: Thunder God's Hammer
  • When you say high fatigue levels do you mean he's unable to move or ...?
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
Female Posts : 2298
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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Feb 27, 2014 10:12 am

I shall first discuss the reasoning behind the techniques and why I had them as they were.




Ryuuryoku Kakao - The half-cooldown takes effect if it misses. There is no fatigue increase after only the first strike. This means that I would need to wait 5 posts before I can attempt the technique again.

Kyoka Suigetsu - By no means did I pour chakra into the opponent's body. The raw force of the strike to the chest causes the flow of chakra in that area to be disrupted. At this point, the opponent could still mold chakra but it would be more difficult for them. That would be the case for any technique. If enough force is applied to an object, the object's inertia is thrown off-balance resulting in a break. Essentially that is what this technique does, as well as the next technique: Hika Rakyuou. The technique would have to be dodged. If the technique hits, the combo continues. Keep in mind that each of these strikes take roughly 1 second each, which leaves barely enough room for a very visually aware person to dodge one of these strikes. If it does miss, then the half-cooldown starts. If it hits, then the combination continues to the next strike which closes the opportunity for the rest of the technique to be dodged or countered via jutsu. This strike is basically a hit or a miss, so if it misses then nothing happens to their chakra flow but if they are hit, then it becomes more difficult to mold chakra in the chest area for their post, which gives my character the next 0.67 second period of time to land the next strike. Make sense?

Rakurai Tsumujikaze - In this technique, I am using wind as the electricity's conductor. This is possible because wind absorbs electricity. With control, the wind can be used as a conductor, thus resulting in a technique that combines opposing elements. It would be similar to combining fire and earth. You can manipulate them together enough to keep the effects of both elements. Yes, there is an opening at the top for an opponent to get inside the tornado, but the entire tornado is combined with high-voltage electricity, so if the opponent is hit while inside then they would be screwed. Regarding dizziness, the momentum the technique would cause to the user would allow him to keep control of his body, which means he would be unaffected to a point where an opponent wouldn't be able to notice. However, as with all tornadoes, it slowly dies out so there would be a tiny window for someone to take advantage and attack. But that's something for an opponent to figure out IC. :)

Kakusa-jutsu: Daishinkū Dangan - I placed it as is so that I could get another opinion. This jutsu was taken directly from canon. I can change the uses to once per topic, but the primary use is its size, speed and power which gives it the reputation for being able to stun a Susano'o or a Bijuu. A jutsu this large would do enough damage to tear a huge hole through a hotel. If a direct hit were made, the opponent would be suffering from many lacerations all over the body and head trauma from being blown back into whatever may be behind them if there is anything. Regarding its range, it could travel the length of a football field before dissipating. I can lower the stun amounts to 1 post if that will also help to keep this at A-rank.

Dai San Hanji: Ni Yubi no Eikyō - Since this requires Raiton no Yoroi (LRA) to use, 50-60 yards would be a reasonable length in terms of a blowback.

Raijin-sha Kanadzuchi - High fatigue means slight dizziness, being out of breath, stress on the muscles due to the exertion needed to pull off the technique, etc.




I would like you to reply to these first and then we can go through the fixes needed. I felt that some of these needed to be clarified for you so that you had a better idea of what you're working with.
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Fubukikage

Xavier
Xavier
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Ryo : 328713

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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Left_bar_bleue480/480Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty_bar_bleue  (480/480)

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PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Mar 20, 2014 12:22 am

See. You were patient, and I'm proud of you for that. To War!

Kyoka Suigetsu: Never said that you did pour chakra into the person, I recommended that you did, using just sheer force to disperse ones chakra in a certain area seems iffy. That's like saying if someone came at you full speed and punched you hard enough in a certain area then you can't use chakra from that area anymore, never I have I seen this done before. The jutsu also states that it prevents the user from using jutsu, but you're saying here that they can still mold chakra and all that, what's the point in allowing them to mold chakra if they can't use jutsu anyway.

Rakurai Tsumujikaze: Ah see, you using that logic :p. Just making sure then, you know how the masses get.

Kakusa-jutsu: Daishinkū Dangan:
A reputation is gained in the actual show/Manga mind you where the impossible is totally possible. Here an A rank of that magnitude would be borderline OP. If someone is directly hit with this they are definitely getting worse then some lacerations and some head trauma, it even says that it would deal heavy damage to large groups, we probably have different opinions on what heavy damage is but I'm expecting broken like.... everything, especially given the size and speed. Also if it can push back a bijuu which is like 40 times larger than a regular human, I'm sure using this technique on people would send them flying to neverland. Then the ability to stop and stun one of the most strongest (OP)Offensive/Defensive jutsu ever known (not to mention I dont even know how you stun a susano'o), that to me seems like S rank material as well, if you can vouch for that being on the receiving end of this jutsu without using LRA as a means to dodge and such, then I'll rethink my opinion.
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
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PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyFri Mar 21, 2014 1:31 am

Bumping this now. I have made changes to what we previously discussed in the chatbox.
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Fubukikage

Xavier
Xavier
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PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyTue Apr 08, 2014 11:09 pm

I swear you've got some patience with me, which I totally appreciate because I was AWOL. :o you even degraded the vacuum bullet, chu so nice. Anyway guess what though? No more time wasted. Approvanted

~PimpMastaXazzy
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyWed Dec 17, 2014 8:15 am

Name: Ijutsu Knowledge
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: E
Type: Supplementary
Element: None
Range: N/A
Specialty: N/A
Duration: N/A
Cooldown: N/A
Description: Through reading several analyses every day from the medical department and hospital, Eden has learned a great many things regarding human anatomy, both male and female. Because of this, he is very knowledgeable when it comes to the medical field. He has learned how to tend to wounds, he has learned about the vital points on the human body as well as the 108 pressure points on the human body, and he has learned the names of all different parts of the body, both scientific and common. Knowledge-wise, Eden is qualified to oversee surgeries and take notes on various procedures.

Name: Bukijutsu Knowledge
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: E
Type: Supplementary
Element: None
Range: N/A
Specialty: N/A
Duration: N/A
Cooldown: N/A
Description: Over the many years he was taught martial arts by his father, he was also trained generally to use weaponry on a very basic level, such as how to hold a sword or how to properly use kunai and shuriken. This knowledge allows Eden to recognize traps more easily when they are set in various places. It also allows him to properly fight with ninja tools and utilize them in the most efficient ways possible so that he doesn't accidentally slip up and cause problems for himself. He fine-tuned his general skills with weaponry by training with some Jounin who were particularly gifted with using weaponry.

Name: Fuuinjutsu Knowledge
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: E
Type: Supplementary
Element: None
Range: N/A
Specialty: N/A
Duration: N/A
Cooldown: N/A
Description: His time spent with Saizo, the Umikage, allowed him to see Fuuinjutsu in action. Because of this, he studied more about it in Tsukigakure and learned about their composition, the various intricate designs they can have and various ways they can be used. Fuuinjutsu was a very broad specialization in Eden's honest opinion, and though it was almost a chore, he spent a lot of time with teachers at the local academy, learning about the uses of Fuuinjutsu and how they can be applied to nearly any scenarios. After doing so much research, he came to understand better what to look for when someone was using Fuuinjutsu, and he gained much knowledge on how exactly they can potentially look when set in different places. Though at the same time, there was still much for him to learn, and he would be bound to make mistakes at times, but that's what practice would be for.
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Jounin

Hisame
Hisame
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PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyWed Dec 17, 2014 11:21 am

I would think these would be better in the forms of books, rather jutsu.
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
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PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyWed Dec 17, 2014 1:29 pm

No ninja would have time to pull out a book in the middle of a battle to be able to read about these things XD T made these knowledge things so that I could make it easier. This way he has the knowledge indefinitely in his mind rather than having to constantly refer to a book. Hence why in each of these I stated that Eden did a lot of studying in order to understand them. Plus, since E-rank jutsu don't take up jutsu slots and usually do not cost chakra, I figured this was the smarter way of doing it.
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Jounin

Hisame
Hisame
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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Dec 18, 2014 2:14 am

It actually doesn't make things easier at all. It doesn't even make sense, aside from a standing point. Information is something that is obtained and preserved. If your character knows it, they have to learn it through experience. Techniques don't grant this. They can grant the ability to view and perceive things differently, but not just straight up knowledge. These also would not be considered battle techniques, as E-ranks don't hold any value in battle, hence why they are E-rank. Also, based on how I am understanding them, these would allow you to understand and perform as well as anyone who actually practices these specialties. Though you wouldn't be able to apply anything beyond what you had on your person or with your arsenal, aka healing with medical, with the medical knowledge, or dispelling fuuinjutsu with fuuinjutsu knowledge. You would simply gain an understanding of how these things work. Being so, it is pretty much nothing but casual, or non-combat based situations where they are particularly useful in. While in combat, your character knowing these things can help guide you on how to better handle certain situations, or better understand what damage you can cause by striking certain points or avoiding certain techniques, but that is once again, just obtained knowledge of your character. A jutsu does not really fit within this category. Books however would lean towards notes and the dedicated time to learn these things. Those books being in your inventory, would mean you have reference material and the passive knowledge of you actually learning from a book.

Also, all of these would be considered a passive jutsu. We don't allow passive things, clan or jutsu wise, that can be applied to our characters.

As for the actual knowledge gained itself, I would lessen them slightly, without the actual experience or statistics to support it. This more so refers to practices. Buki and fuuin are fine in base definition of how they are described. They show that what you have learned is just more focused general knowledge, with room to learn more without actually possessing a statistical skill set in these categories. Medical on the other hand is completely overexerted. Knowing about basic human anatomy and pressure points, organs and fatal points of the body, all fine. Herbs, identifying certain cases of illness or even poisoning, also fine. Basic knowledge of medical tools, aka scalpel, stethoscopes, syringe, ect, all fine. Overseeing surgeries and anything aside from basic wound cleaning, not general knowledge that can just be learned. That is more so to be left to medical nin, since they are trained in this field by nature of their profession and practice. By no means should your character know this type of knowledge, unless you were to actually take a statistical route in the medical field.
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Dec 18, 2014 2:44 am

For now, as discussed with Hisame, these E-ranks will remain on standby until a future date.
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Dec 18, 2014 3:24 am

I am going to use my jutsu ticket for this S-rank jutsu.



Name: Kesshō Hanji: Ippon'yubi no Eikyō :: Final Judge: One-Finger Impact
Canon/Custom: Canon
Rank: S-rank
Type: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Hand-to-hand (the index finger is the "weapon" and the index finger must make contact to cause damage; this is just for clarification.)
Specialty: Nintaijutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 3 times per topic (once per use of Raiton no Yoroi)
Description: Requires no handseals. Requires a minimum of S-rank STR to use. Requires the activation of Raiton no Yoroi. Eden concentrates raiton chakra to his hand and points toward the opponent with just one finger of either hand. The chakra stretches outward from the tip of his finger, with the end point being completely pointed, like that of a Chinese straight sword (the length of the chakra from the tip of the index finger to the tip of the chakra is 4 inches). Due to the density of the chakra, it has the potency to blow apart multiple enforced A-rank Doton walls and can even blow a human-sized hole through an S-rank Doton wall, due to the extreme concentration of raiton chakra in the one finger. Therefore, it can prove to be fatal if it is taken as a direct hit. This is the last of the four techniques.

NOTE: Even though it says it is sharply pointed, it deals damage as pure blunt force, which means the sharpness of the chakra will not necessarily pierce flesh. The density of it has enough power to force the chakra's shape to a point. This is purely clarification.

NOTE: The reason it is so powerful on its own is because it requires the use of Raiton no Yoroi, which increases the user's STR by 3 ranks.


Last edited by Eden on Tue Feb 03, 2015 7:37 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyThu Dec 18, 2014 3:31 am

In the description, I stated "multiple enforced A-rank Doton walls" because I am not entirely sure how many it could blow through.
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
Female Posts : 2298
Ryo : 1597319

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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptySun Feb 01, 2015 9:56 pm

Bumping. I still need this S-rank graded. Please and thank you.
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Seinin

Storm
Storm
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PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptySun Feb 01, 2015 10:38 pm

I hope I am helpful to you Eden.

Kesshō Hanji: Ippon'yubi no Eikyō :: Final Judge: One-Finger Impact:
  • How fast does this travel to the opponent?


That is all I could find wrong with this jutsu for now.
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Oujoukage

Eden
Eden
Female Posts : 2298
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Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration Empty
PostSubject: Re: Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration   Shinteki, Eden / Jutsu Registration EmptyMon Feb 02, 2015 3:14 am

It's Nintaijutsu, so the attack is the finger itself. Hence the range being "Hand-to-Hand" :)
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